a temptation

For the past week I've been haunted by the episode where Buffy is accidentally turned invisible by bargain bin Weezer. It's not the main plot that sticks out to me, though I love the scene where Xander walks in on Spike totally not doing anything sexual. There's a scene in the beginning when the social worker comes to visit where, for one brief moment, I thought there was a fake dating episode that I'd totally forgotten about.

Except there wasn't. A travesty.

what could have been

A recap: During the social worker's visit Spike walks into the room and Buffy panics because visits from you platinum princess punk fucktoy aren't going to received well by a social worker with middle class sensibilities. After some failed attempts at explaining his presence, Buffy unceremoniously shoos him away, solidifying a terrible house visit. Later when she's invisible, Buffy solves this problem by tormenting the social worker to the point of a breakdown so that her appraisal is canned.

My version: No invisibility stuff happens. Fake Weezer isn't in the show. Instead, Buffy and Dawn scramble to explain Spike's present before landing on the title of fiance. Why is he dressed like that? Well, he's an actor of course. He lives in the house and helps pay bills while his relationship with Buffy shows Dawn what a good nuclear family structure should look like.They're able to talk the social worker into delaying the meeting by feigning some sort of contagious illness that has her all too happy to quickly leave the house and reschedule. The problem, now, is that Buffy and Spike need to continue their charade during her next visit.

"Oh, that's Sp--"
"Spencer!" Buffy cut in, earning herself an annoyed look from Dawn.
The woman clicked the pen in her hand and looked down at her clipboard.
"And his relationship to you?"
Buffy and Dawn exchanged glances. On a good day that question was hard enough to answer.
"He's my..."
"Fiance!"

Cue Spike and Buffy having an existential about what their relationship is with a painfully suburban background that Spike is more than a little into. Plus Spike makeover montage that reveals he's actually hot when he dresses like William. Maybe also some callbacks to Willow's "why don't you and Spike get married" spell because they're trying to recreate that dynamic while not magicked.

 

but will I actually write this?

The million dollar question to which my answer is... that's a good question. In general I don't really write fics any more because I don't like the way people treat fic writers. At the same time, the fic is bouncing around in my head anyways and writing fake suburban spuffy would be fun. It's a conundrum.